Baby steps. I’m taking baby steps every day. I was recently on my Facebook and had a memory from a year ago where I was listing everything I’d done that day. Three loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, dusted, swept all the floors, and made a homemade cheesecake…It’s amazing how things can change in a year.
Nowadays I can barely get out of bed to shower and my teeth are furry more days than clean. My kitchen doesn’t get cleaned like it should and my floors are very seldom swept. But I’m taking baby steps.
Recently at my therapy appointment I was explaining to my therapist about how I feel like a failure because I can’t get everything done like I used to. This is when she said something that has stuck with me. “You don’t have to accomplish everything. Just try to accomplish something.” She told me to make a goal for myself for the day. It can be as simple as showering or as big as taking a walk down to the lake but make sure I had a goal.
I started with getting out of bed for a while and sitting in the living room with my family. My bedroom had become my safe haven and I rarely left it. After I conquered that task for the day I moved onto bigger tasks like cleaning and taking walks. I still struggle; it’s amazing how much energy it takes to shower and how much you take it for granted until you’re in the throes of a bipolar depression but I’m slowly taking the steps.
Now on most days I make two or three goals for myself. Some days I accomplish all of them, other days I may only get one (or on a bad day none) of my goals accomplished. I focus on the goals I met because I know I’m trying. And I’m going to keep pushing forward because I’m not a quitter.
My floors may still be dirty more often than not but I’m taking those baby steps. And I’ll keep on taking those baby steps until it gets easier.