Winning with Bilateral Electroconvulsive Therapy

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Things have been going okay. I’m still extremely tired but I’m working towards getting my stamina back. I have been working on little things around the house as a bridge to being able to take care of my family and home on my own. As of now, my mom is still staying with us and helping around the house, cooking meals, helping with laundry, etc.

It’s the little things that mean so much. Yesterday after I woke up from my nap following ECT, I loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the counters and dining room table. I haven’t done anything like that in about two months. I made dinner the other night too. I made homemade meatballs. That’s right, nothing from a can. That was the extent of my domestic duties up until recently.

ECT seems to be helping some now. I have a long way to go but I’m closer to my goal. The doctor recommended we do bilateral ECT from here on out because I wasn’t responding as well as I hoped. I could see a difference but it was rather minute. The difference I feel after just one bilateral treatment is nothing short of remarkable. I have a bit of my energy back, I can participate in some of the domestic duties, and my mood has improved.

I was leery of bilateral ECT as that’s what I had done in the past and I ended up with more memory loss than I had hoped for. When I had the procedure before I had almost an entire year wiped out of my memory. I missed a year of my young boys lives between the numerous psychiatric admissions and the memory loss.

Although there is still significant chance of major memory loss, at least there’s hope of one day being able to get in the shower without thinking of slitting my wrists. I call that a win.


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